Thursday, February 27, 2014

Been there not done that


Been there not done that


Not committing suicide, despite the urge
On figures of how many beautiful people across the world commit suicide every day, I will not give you numbers because I do not trust on them. I will take ‘many’ as the sacrosanct number to start writing on a topic I have always wanted to.
This article promises to talk about the steps for not committing suicide. Of late, it is a growing phenomenon that has attracted attention and concern from many quarters, including behavioural psychologists. There are countries where people go in groups to destroy themselves. Yet I am surprised at our inability to talk openly about it. Till date, we have to go to a consultant secretly to talk about our issues and concerns.
Yearning to commit suicide is a germ that’s present in every individual in varying degree. I am not an exception. However, I know I will never let the hormones overpower me because I follow certain methods. Let us quickly understand the reasons before getting on with the methods of preventing the urge.

I promise to make it as interesting as possible.
Reasons

First let us look at the reasons why beautiful souls across the world and across ages, castes, status commit suicide. I am fortunate to have most of them!
·         People who are

o   Not successful in life
o   Successful, extremely successful in life

o   Not beautiful, handsome, sexy
o   Beautiful, handsome and sexy

o   Rich, extremely rich
o   Poor, extremely poor

o   In debt
o   Not in debt

o   Not acceptable by friends / colleagues / peers
o   Completely or moderately acceptable by friends / colleagues / peers

o   Loners
o   People’s person

o   Lovers
o   Without love

o   Fighters
o   The most timid

o   Intellectuals
o   Not intellectuals

o   Businessmen
o   Professionals

o   Authors of books on positive mental attitude
o   Readers of books on positive mental attitude

o   Dealing with sudden loss of near and dear ones
o   Yet to see deaths in their families

o   Sentimental and sensitive
o   Not sentimental and sensible

o   Toppers of colleges / institutions
o   Failures of colleges / institutions

o   Celebrities
o   The most ordinary

o   Unhappy in their married / sex life
o   Happy in their married / sex life

o   Homosexuals
o   Heterosexuals
o   Bisexuals

o   With troubled children
o   With the most obedient children

o   Thrown out of schools / organizations
o   Most accepted in schools / organizations

o   The list goes on…

The real reason
Interesting, isn’t it? Does the list tell us that there are no reasons to commit suicide? Please scroll up and re-read the list until you understood that there are no reasons to commit suicide. The greatest mistake people look for is the reason, either in the form of suicidal notes, or in the form of questioning the unfortunate relatives, friends to understand the reason. Urge to commit suicide is induced by some hormones [let us not be so knowledgeable as to know which hormone…just google it] which in turn are triggered from the inability to cope with our situations. So situations are not the reasons here… it is the inability to look at situations that causes the urge. Unless we understand the reason for suicide as physiological rather than emotional, I suggest readers not to proceed. To simplify with an example from the list, if not being successful in life is the reason, then there are people who are extremely successful also commit suicide. So the real reason is the germ that pushes people away from life. This germ can be controlled and eventually purged from our system if certain methods are followed. If I tell you the methods people use to commit suicide, you will be surprised at their creativity. My objective is not to show the methods of committing suicide, but exactly the opposite, to show how not to hurt ourselves.

Responsibilities do not play any role
Right in front of the dudes who’d just ended their journeys, people start judging. However, responsibilities do not play any role; whether they are survived by a child or a family dependent on them, whether they have ailing parents, pregnant wives, or have left huge debts for their families, or whether insurances cover suicides has nothing to do with the object ‘urge’ here. It is only the ‘I’ that matters to us when we commit suicide.

Methods to pause-postpone-purge the urge
I will share some of the methods I have adopted not to go destroyed.

1.      Swear words – when the question is existential, let us not ornament words with euphemism; so any swear word (especially f*ck you) functions as a very important tool. Hence it tops the list. Whenever you feel the urge of hurting yourself, this is the sacred mantra you can use. It will definitely ease you out. In order to articulate this, you can use all sorts of sign languages, like your middle finger, your little finger and shout out the mantra. Try this when you have the urge and see how it helps you.

2.      Self-talk – this you would have already read in some books. But the mantra I will be sharing is unique and I trust you will not find it anywhere.

a.       I am living in this world

b.      My life is useful

c.       I am brave

d.      I am good

e.       I know it hurts to live, but it will also hurt to leave

f.       I am at a dead-end, I have nothing to lose, so I am good

g.       True I wanted to die I will make this truth a lie

h.      Hold on

i.        Stay put

j.        I wanted to die I wanted to die now no more now no more

k.      If I have reasons to die I have reasons not to cry

l.        I will live unloved, unwanted, disliked, hated

m.    I will live like a failure

n.      I will live like the poor

o.      No shame, no fame, no character, faulty, guilty, silly, cunning, selfish, conceited…will not blame will not blame I do not blame…I live just the same

p.      Love, love, love [continue this with your hands to the sky and take five rounds clockwise and five anti-clockwise, then drop on the floor]
You would have noticed that all of these is about I, me, myself…the reasons stated in l,m,n, and o are very effective, although they are quite contrary. However, the one that is the most effective is the last one! Try that dudes I love you all because I am you!

3.      Mirroring – People who are contemplating suicide…guys how do you look…you will see a somber look on your face. Just before you are going to the railway track, if you are in your senses, just look at the mirror before going… and say ha, ha, ha thirty-three times. Repeat three times.
      My tenderest friends, my lovers, I wish you never go there, trust me the world is far too sexy than you think.

4.      Repeat actions – again if you are in your senses, keep on repeating simple actions. For example, switching on and off a light or fan, closing and opening a door or a window, pulling and pushing a chair or a table, opening and closing a tap to fill an empty bucket [you must listen to the sound when you do that]

5.      Playing – instead of buying rat killers or any other poison or sleeping pills, buy a ball. Go to your room and keep on bouncing the ball and count how many times you did. Target is 1000 dudes!

6.      Heavy therapy – there are some dudes who feel very heavy when attacked with the germ. At the time, put heavier things on you, like some sofa or chair on you…keep it for some time and you will see the germ leaving your body

7.      Quilt therapy – cover yourself with lots of quilt and lie on bed for some time..you can even go off to sleep

8.      Darkroom therapy – if it is daytime, make it dark, and keep on chanting f*ck you f*ck you and f*ck you…I don’t know of any mantra for pious people, unless you choose any self-talk from the list…you could also try saying screw you instead of f*ck you! Remember, this you can be anybody else…but the most effective you here is the germ in you that you want to kill, with vigor and skill.

9.      Walk therapy – this helps. Remember, you are not proving anything to anyone, so walk at your pace…there is no race.

10.  Cry therapy – cry, weep, sob, depress yourself as much as you can…and then say I can’t believe I wanted to die…to die!...to die?....ha ha ha ….do this after you have cried enough.

11.  Destroy therapy – depending on what method you have to choose, you can destroy the method. For instance, take a pillow and hang it….and when it is hanging in front of you, say f*ck you. If you wanted to take sleeping pills, take some biscuits, go to the street and feed the dogs those biscuits…the best method is to take some seeds and feed the birds on the terrace. Coming to jumping from the terrace…if you have that urge, go to the ground and look at the terrace, and say the mantra (by this time you know the mantra, don’t you?)

12.  Opposite therapy – if you have the sense to understand the reason, you will see people with exactly opposite reason also have committed suicide…if you do not find the reason mentioned in the list, write your reason, and then write the opposite reason also. It helps!

13.  Ung therapy – just at the moment, if you are not at the level of words…you cannot chant any word….just say unggggggg until you run out of breath, keep on repeating it a number of times you’ll see what happens. The moment you stop, the urge comes back….fight it again with unggggg…repeat this and you’ll see it works like magic!

14.  Feed the poor therapy – very effective. Buy some bananas and feed the poor

15.  Flush therapy – go to the rest room, and say, I wanted to die, and flush…do it three times

16.  I am sure you wouldn’t need any anti-suicidal drugs, but if drugs are necessary, take it with doctor’s consent.

17.  Other than these, there are many ways like singing, eating, breathing, satsang, yoga, exercise, reading (anything including p*rno), and so on can help prevent-postpone-purge the urge of ending life. Methods such as these can shift our paradigm and take life head on in the way you are…don’t pressurize yourself to change…just be the way you are…you will win your way through.

No conclusion
I am a failure in every sense of the term. If you tried to find out any place or situation or a role where I haven’t failed, you will only be disappointed! However, I consider myself successful because I am still there… I know I will continue to live till my last breath and I will continue to be successful.
As failure or successful, as cherished or disliked, as beautiful or not beautiful, we do have our space and place in this world. Let people like us also live.

My message to all those who are contemplating suicide is:

Please don’t go away before you went… it is a skill worth trying: Try not to die
If you are not able to find your way, write in to me at supratiksen1@gmail.com and I will help you, not as a consultant, but as a friend who has been there not done that.

Cheers!

Tuesday, February 25, 2014

Out of nature

Out of nature

I look at birds and animals,
Don’t see them compete;
Then why are those cannibals,
Fight with others to defeat!

I look at nature as a whole,
Don’t see the parts spat or skirmish;
Then why are those with heart and soul
Destroy to famish and finish!

In the forest or in the sky,
If lion’s a subject of a rabbit,
If eagle’s of a fly,
Is but a matter of hunger of habit!

What a germ this competition is,
That blinds us to the core;
When do we know to be at ease!
And learn to complete without a sore!

I look at my body that is built,
Don’t see my lungs fight my liver;
There’s no conflict no guilt,
Cells at their best without the fever!

The world’s also a body so bright,
The parts helping each to be their best;
All are one in colours black and white,
Contention can sleep and take rest!

Trapped in between always and never

Trapped in between always and never

People trapped in their temple of always and never, 
I love them not because they’re wise and clever; 
They are these people, who tell me from close, 
To be not as firm and as rigid like those. 

Note: Trapped in the absolute

The entertaining factor

The entertaining factor

Competition? Excellence! Performance?
Words terrorize in their horrific jurisprudence!
The poem stands up as a willing outcast
Writes about wars with stories from the past!
These words with their actions such an utter non-sense
To the poem are reasons for the people to be tense!
Listen to me you pious sordid priests
Your judgments know nothing to say the pretty least!

I came to this world with a tongue of my own
It is cut into pieces and completely thrown!
I pluck the organ it’s a redundant extra
The street now its throne to cry ra ra!

You divide and provide like those Business Group
A bunch of cannibals in their human hunting tryst!
With prowess of words that sword behind the mist
Eating up everything including our poop!
It is contention with its surprises that ruin us all
You crush us like fools with our own wherewithal!
Like duds we amuse you with our world of fight
While you cash in excellence in broadest daylight!
People in trouble don’t know how to compete
All they know is to fight or fleet!
We are all over the world in Medias Res
You give us your crap of extra-ordinary excess!

The win-lose game that entertains the world
Is the reason for the killing in actions and word!
The lines so ordinary are thinking out of the box
You might as well be us by pulling in your socks!

You may ‘understand’ the meaning of this poem
The words are simple with nothing in them!
To accept its intent that bleeds into tears
We’ll all pass for sure some more dreadful years!

Thinking out of the box


Thinking out of the box 
Re-visiting prose! Hey but this time I am not angry. Most of my readers know why I get into prose. However, those who do not know I enter into this genre off and on when I am angered… when I see  human beings all over the world behave in a way that I think should be re-looked at. This time I will be talking about something that might shock people, might even provoke question and serious doubts on my sanity and intelligence. Still I would. I have nothing to lose…but I will stand by my thought…almost like a fool who is directionless wanting with love to plant a thought into the minds of intelligent people. I will be talking about the uselessness of ‘competition, excellence, performance’ in general and in doing so would try to understand if these are germs or viruses affecting the world in the guise of something that foster growth and development.

I have been told that people are a replica of nature. Human beings as bipeds stood up with their brains slowly getting connected to consciousness. I read that the difference between us and other inhabitants of the world is consciousness. Is that the reason we compete? Funnily nothing else in this world does. That cuckoo is an excellent singer and crow isn’t, that lion is the king of the jungle and rabbit isn’t that weaver bird and woodpeckers strive for excellence in their nests than the sparrow is like saying that the Mount Everest is the tallest peak because it tried to compete with all other peaks of the world. Poor creatures they don’t know what excellence is…and thank goodness they don’t. The model that competition leads to people’s taking interest in their work is a little less than non-sense. Rewards and recognitions encourage us because we had been trained to orient our work in that way for generations. Everything has a war footing. The fact that the leopard and the dear run to eat and to not being eaten is looked upon as excellence by the clever eyes perhaps.

Dudes, if you look at the world, you could clearly see that this model, the model for striving for excellence is not working. An organization performs because it has to perform in its own way. Being involved with the occupation of competitors' performances adds to the cost if not the stress. This CMMI model that has attacked the business world is creating more malice than creativity, liberty to be. It is sad that human beings have completely forgotten the being part! Can we ever bring it back? This single supercilious notion has its ripple effect in the poor employees perpetually fighting with each other for God knows what! Excellence may be! Or may be because they have been told that 'good is the enemy of the great'! The madness for excellence is here for good for all the wrong reasons. Tell me one scientist who has excelled because s/he has competed with other scientists, I’d like to know some names of very successful persons who have excelled because of competition with the outside world. Einstein, Tagore, Shakespeare, Chopin would be turning in their graves now if we thought that they’d become what they had because they strived to be the best! Even in sports, you ask Sachin if he’d competed against anyone…you ask Surgy Bubka if he’d competed with anybody other than himself to achieve excellence. The superlatives like best, greatest, strongest are perpetually in exile by killing, slaying a large number of friends either physically or otherwise. Darwin's theory of survival of the fittest has slowly changed into survival of the wisest since long. Even in the animal kingdom, we are striving hard to save the so-called fittest out of extinction...starting from dinosaurs... the recent threat is the tiger. Poor tiger doesn't even know why we call it the strongest or the fittest...neither do lambs or dears know that they are not the fittest! 

What do we get out of this evaluation is war. That is why countries today are not satisfied with their own performances, they have to keep others’ performances down to exercise control and power over others. I being an Indian do not have the right to plough in my own land and make a living out of it? Acres of land are not ploughed in India and other ‘developing countries’ in order to artificially create scarcity… this is the result of the ‘competition, excellence, performance’. We would only be naïve if we are blaming anyone here. We are all scapegoats turning and turning around in the whirlwind.

In games and sports, at work, in families, in the creative world these three viruses seem to be taking the better of us. The relationship between employees in any organization is seriously threatened because of the manipulative stances of the management. Now let us not blame our managers, let us not blame anyone for that matter if we are to at all get off the germs. We are not satisfied with the games as they are…we have to know who the best team is. In this way, we have best worker, best employee, best dancer, best singer, best country, best employer, even best spouse, and best lover. Whatever we do has to have the win-lose war component. Yet we are surprised to see the object war outside of us in its crudest and rudest form.

People all over the world have not learnt how to compete; we should compete like the heart or the brain or the liver or the pancreas or numerous cells in our body. The brain does not say it is better than the heart…all are competing with themselves to be at their best for the body to be up and about. I wonder when human beings would really do some thinking to come up with a model that functions as one body where parts are found competing with themselves to perform their best.  

But what do I know…am I even competent to talk about these highly cerebral issues and concerns? In terms of exposure and experience I know nothing about anything. I know that I do not have the know-how to change the way people think as employees, as neighbours, as family members, and as part of this world. However, I understand that this model that is stressing people from all walks of life needs to be done away with; that the number and figures that lie in broad daylight fail to understand the pulse of the people. That is why I urge stalwarts of society to come up with something whose process of achievement does not electrocute people, a robust model as strong and as sexy as warfare that enable people to engage with each other without a win-lose approach. How long can we watch the world fighting and crushing enemies and foes trying to overtake everyone by hook or by crook, by fair means or foul when we know that the concept of enemy and foe does not exist! The fight or the animosity between countries and neighbours can cease to exist with a click of a button…. it is that simple and that easy. It is just a matter of bringing about a shift in the way we think. How long can the heart and liver and the brain and the lungs and pancreas and numerous cells compete with each other to become the most excellent performer?

Perhaps there might come a day when we’d be able to understand these words in their truest forms, where the mind of the world will work in tandem with all its parts, best and excellent in their own ways.

These words have given a lot of stimulation to our hormones, have entertained us. Will they be able to ‘enter-train’ us I wonder!

Let me now happily go back to my place…poems, where else!

Friday, February 21, 2014

Wars need to be flushed

Wars need to be flushed    

Everything in life
Has a war component;
At homes, at work,
With friends, with games,
From best lover to best spouse,
Best worker in the best house,
Best musician, best child, best place,
Best doesn’t seem to rest…
Fights go on and on,
Weapons inside the head,
Bleed our foes and friends dead,
With actions covered with words
We could otherwise dread;
And yet
Wars we see make us wonder!
Words so bitter flow without charm,
What is the trouble? Where is the harm?
Let wars be and let us see…
Until
We come up with a game or any engagement
Without a war component;

Oh! I just got one with a boom boom!
In the recent euphemism called the rest room!

Tuesday, February 18, 2014

I will live for as long as I live


I will live for as long as I live

Without help; I will live for as long as I live
My weak hands that once lifted islands
And placed them in a desert
Cannot walk without help
My feet that wrote a myriad stories in the car
On the buses in offices classrooms
Now write brushing the earth alone as if trying to erase a
Lot of songs good and bad

I am going to die…I know so are you
But mine is so cruelly close I can even see it
Inside the black hole of a yellow sea of lights
I see me lying dead
No one around no one there
Every earth cell with me rejoicing just as it were
Not an iota of life has paused for this passing bird
I will live for as long as I live; without help.

This poem is for those who are living alone in their ‘tenderest’ age. Let your white hair be the raindrops that’d pour into the sonorous heart-vessels of the yearning-to-know youths of today to stabilize them with quietness they so need. Please stay put, don’t go away before you went!
You are younger than you know!!! Please look at the evergreen world...you can't be older than that my dears.
So cheers!